My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
