I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
