Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize