we have pet lesbian snakes
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
