Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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