I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
