happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
