did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize