A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
