is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
FUCK WHALES
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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