my soul wont recognize me after tonight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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