I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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