Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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