if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
