Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
