Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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