I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
