I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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