Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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