Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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