Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
