You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
