so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
