3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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