And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
