I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
