we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
