It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize