my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
