let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
