Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize