you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
