I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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