from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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