i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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