I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How's work?
Spinning.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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