are you still at the devil's house?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm like, not good at living.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
