i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
