nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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