Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
