And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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