please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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