the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
