She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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