should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
