TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
