ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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