So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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