Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
