bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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