There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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