is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How does one acquire holy water?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
