And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
