I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
