dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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