I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
