Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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