I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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